“It’s the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We’re always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.” ~ Crash
The beginning of my evening made me think of this quote, which is from the film “Crash.” So, after dinner, I did exactly what I did not want to do….fell asleep! I guess I needed it. So I woke up about 9pm, and I thought I would do what I initially intended to do before lying down for a few minutes, which was go for a walk. I also thought I would swing by Paciugo. Now, if you’re not familiar with Paciugo, I won’t even bore you with my 15 minute rant on how awesome Paciugo is. I will just direct you to http://www.paciugo.com
Ok, so I grab my keys, my book, and my headphones, and head out the door. I literally get 10 steps away from the house when a woman walking towards me says “You’re a guy!”
“Why yes I am!” is my reply.
“So let me ask you something…”
Now, I like to think that I’m pretty observant. It comes from my many days of people watching around Chicago. The way a person walks, carries oneself, talks, dresses, and a variety of other factors can tell you a lot. Now, that’s not to be confused with judging a book by it’s cover. Just because someone outwardly appears one way, doesn’t mean that’s all there is. However, you can sometimes use the “context clues” to make some deductions from moment to moment.
So, the first thing I noticed was that the young lady was tipsy. Next thing I noticed, that she was very pretty. Shoulder length blond hair, pretty face, and though I couldn’t see in the darkness, I would venture to say probably blue eyes. She was dressed to kill, which coupled with the tipsiness says night out with the girls, or a date.
So, she goes on to explain how she’s been seeing a guy on and off for about 4 years. Despite all of her best hopes, she has come to the conclusion that this guy, a divorcee, is not going to commit to a monogamous relationship with her. “So, I’m thinking that I should just send him a text saying that it’s over. What do you think?”
So, when was the last time that a stranger came up to you on the street, and asked you your opinion on whether they should end a 4 year relationship or not?
Now, I’m a strong believer in karma. I remember the first time I saw that book “The Secret.” My first thought was “The real secret is that this person can sucker millions of people into buying books and DVD’s on something that is as old as religion itself, and that’s karma.” I don’t need to spend money to learn about the concept of extending positivity to the world, in hopes that it will be returned to you. So, I sometimes think that when moments like this arise, and in my life they seem to happen more than most, I think perhaps it’s an opportunity to extend some positivity, hope, and cheer to someone else who really needs it.
So, I thought for a few seconds, and simply replied, “What I’ve found most true in this life, is that if someone doesn’t treat you as you feel you deserve to be treated, then that person doesn’t deserve you. If you live life along that guideline, I don’t think you’ll ever go wrong.”
She then mentioned that when they are together, he’s wonderful and perfect.
“Well, what about when you’re apart? Does it hurt your feelings that he won’t commit?” to which she replied Yes.
“Well, 50% isn’t good. That’s not even passing! You should be looking for 90 or 95% That’s what we all deserve.”
She lamented the idea of leaving him for a few moments. I said:
“Let’s be real. You are gorgoeus. I could snap a pic with my phone, send a text message, and have a handful of guys on the horn who would have no problem commiting. Are you smart?”
“I’m very smart. I have 2 masters!”
“Well there you go! You obviously know what you deserve, and you simply have to decide whether this guy can give it to you.”
It was nice to see that smile. Not because she was a pretty young woman, but because I was able to make someone who was at a moment of trouble, to smile. I extended the proverbial right hand of friendship, and it resulted in the lifting of another individuals spirit. Is there anything cooler in life than that?
So, we talked for a few more minutes. She told me how she was on date #4 (bingo) with a guy, and that she told him that she just wasn’t interested in him romantically. He spazzed, and she ended up walking home. She mentioned that she knew no one in the neighborhood, and perhaps we could hang out sometime. I took her number, and texted her with mine. We exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes. I then gave her a hug, asked her if she was ok getting home, and told her to be safe, and tomorrow would be a brighter day.
It was an odd interaction, but I left it feeling positive, and who knows, I may have made a new friend. Summer in the city.