I’m actually referring to myself, not the jerky boy that many of us watch on tv.
But yes, I’m anointing myself as the dumbest Dr. Phil you’ll ever see. Why? Well, allow me to explain.
A key component of friendship is being able to turn to friends in times of hardship. I’m often honored and humbled by the fact that my friends feel comfortable turning to me, often times with the most personal of matters. I’m glad that I’ve reached such a level of trust with my friends, and I would never do anything to damage that.
With that being said, I often find myself standing slack jawed thinking “WTF???” Now, we all run into problems, and situations that are unfortunate…but sometimes I have the feeling all too often that we may sometimes, unbeknownst to our most conscious of minds, thrust ourselves into these situations.
Now, the point of the title is to say that in the grand scheme of things, I know nothing. If I was an expert in matters of the heart, I’d be married, with my doctorate, lying people on a couch and having them recount their earliest childhood memories. However, what I do know is what I’ve perceived and witnessed in the life I’ve lived. In that journey, I’m a firm believer that once you see lightning strike the same pole 7 times in a 10 year period, it’s a safe assumption that you don’t want to stand by that pole in a rain storm. On the same token, once you see various people, in similar situations, you can start to make some educated guesses as to the possible outcomes. So, I shall share some brief gems of wisdom I’ve discovered along the way
1) Misery loves company, and if you don’t figure this out, you’re destined to be it’s roommate.
Now, I think this is what I find myself thinking like 70% of the time when offering advice to people. Why is your boss a jerk off? Because he’s miserable in his life, so he brings it to work because MISERY LOVES COMPANY. Now, knowing this fact, I think we actively have to move ourselves away from misery. How? Through a positive outlook, and a hopeful mindset. The phrase “never let them steal your smile” holds true. If it’s a lover that’s pulling you down, then you should sit and have a heart to heart. But is that what people do? Hmm….something to think the next time someone asks you for advice. Or, when you try to understand the actions of your friends.
2) Dare to be Daring
Case in point: When I graduated from school, I knew that I did not like being unemployed. That was certain. Moving to Alaska? Now that was an unknown…but I did it. It’s paid off. Experience, a full time job, new friends and experiences. Now, so often I see people in situations that are admittedly FUBAR, and yet, the unknown seems like such a horrible and daunting alternative. Really? Really?!?!? Well, I do know that I don’t want to spend any large segment of my life in craptacularvision, so yeah, let’s try something different, shall we?
In the broader scope of life, I must admit that in all my years, when I reflect, it’s not the days I went to bed on time, and did everything by the book that I remember the most. It’s the nights when I stayed out till 6 in the morning, then slept in my car in the parking lot of my job (big ups to Discount Tire), to be at work at 8, then zombied around all day with my coworkers, who were out the night before with me. Was it rough? Yes! But sometimes, you gotta go out, and have fun, and make the Earth move under your feet, and under the weight of your will as you pull the zest out of life, and live it to the absolute limits. Sleep will come eventually. Sleep comes and goes, but those memories, they will comfort me even if I live to be 100. Now, I don’t know who to credit this quote to, but someone way wiser than me said it best:
“An extraordinary life can never created from a collection of ordinary days.”
* IMPORTANT POINT: Daring must be tempered with reason and common sense. Don’t party till the wee hours of the morning the night before the biggest job interview of your career, or the night before finals. Just sayin’.
3) Being happily single is always better than being unhappily hinged
I find myself thoroughly appalled on the daily as to the laundry list of B.S. that people are willing to put up with, or even worse, go running back to after a hiatus. Really? Really??? Ladies and gents? Don’t kid yourself…life is short…unless you’re stuck in a relationship with someone with whom you’d be better off leaving in your dust. I must say I don’t get it, but I see it often, and then years later….”you know, you were right….” :: sigh ::
4) Sure…unhappy, emotionally unavailable people are always willing to pull someone into their hole of turmoil
Yes, the married guy in the unhappy marriage will happily engage you in random sexual trysts, while refusing to leave his wife. The Devil wants you to come to hell for a reason…it’s lonely!
I suppose I could go on for days. But I suppose I just wanted to express pleasant reminders to those of you who may need them. I fortunately, have my friends to remind me on the weekly, if not the daily, as to all the pitfalls on the road to romance, and how to avoid them, AKA, don’t get involved in craziness.
If you have tidbits of wisdom to bestow, definitely throw them into the comments. As I go through my day to day travels, I bear witness to the fact that some people need them.