If you look hard enough, you can see forever…

Well, it’s been quite a while since I updated this thing.  Hmm…I think that’s simply because I haven’t had anything to say.  More accurately, I haven’t had the voice to express my thoughts thoughtfully.  Think about it long enough and it’ll make sense.  Trust me.

So, I thought that my second year in Tok would be crazy easier than my first.  I’m more familiar with the lay of the land, new people to meet, old people to get reacquainted with, new experiences and students to look forward to.  Well, it hasn’t quite been that way.  It’s just….hmm….it’s such a slow paced life.  However, I make the most of anything, and I’m doing that.  I’ve made some new friends, and found my attachments to people ebb and flow, with new faces emerging out of the crowd, and others blending in.  I find that I don’t struggle to hold on to attachments as some people.  If you choose to excuse yourself, I will neither push you out, nor hold the door shut.  I think part of maturity is learning when to gracefully bow out, or allow others to do so as well.  Grace.  I like that word…even better name.

I did find that taking a trip to the big bad city of Fairbanks :: cough, cough :: certainly reenergized my sensibilities.  I damn near felt alive.  Everywhere I went, I met people.  I was standing at the bargain racks of Barnes and Noble, and a woman was standing next to me, with a frown on her face.  I look over and said “Smile…it’s books!”  She laughed, and said

“yeah, but how do you choose which one you want?”

“well, that depends on what you’re into?”

“I’m into everything pretty much”

I reached out and grabbed the closest book, which had caught my attention due to its very colorful cover.  It was a picture book on torture devices, from Medieval times through the War on Terror.

“Well, how about you start with this one.  I’m pretty sure you’ll find it rather enlightening.”

She laughed again.  It was nice to hear.  I’d forgotten how that felt.  Meeting a stranger, and engaging in laughter, and playful banter.

“I think I discovered something I’m not into!”

C’est la vie!  It was at this point that her male counterpart came around the corner.  His demeanor was decidedly….poutish.  He didn’t seem like he wanted to join the conversation either, so I bid her well in her search, and proceeded on.  That was 1 of 3 conversations I had in Barnes and Noble.  That’s when I feel most alive I find, when there are people around to engage in conversation, and questions, and ideas, and insight.

So, time passes, and I move along with it.  Ants marching along right?  Well, I look forward to my next adventure.  As simple as they may be, they bring joy…that seems so elusive some days.  So very elusive.

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