Remembrance

So, I’m actually posting this from my phone. A first, but I’m tired of my thoughts escaping me.
So, can you think of the first time you saw something that absolutely amazed you? That feeling you get when you’re just blown away.
That thought popped into my head this evening. I had just walked in the door, and I head a most random thought of the first Static-X song I ever heard. It was their first single, I can’t even think of its name, but I saw it on MTV. That was back in the day when MTV actually played music, and they would condescend to play metal music. But it was unlike anything I’d encountered. The music was so visceral, so aggressive. Wayne Static was just over the top with his appearance, and his vocals.
I often associate the aforementioned feeling with music. It amazes me how some things you just can’t forget. I remember the first Drum Corps show I ever saw (1989 Phantom Regiment on VHS), I remember the first time I saw and heard Mudvayne (Dig video, late night, on a friends couch). A complete white background, with these brightly colored dudes, ripping it up in a song that would come to define many a mosh pit. It was mesmerizing. I remember thinking that all I wanted was to see and hear it again.
Often times however, we associate that feeling with people. I remember the first time I saw Heather Marin. She was a friend from high school. I thought she was one of the prettiest girls I’d ever seen. Last time I saw her she still was. My mind was just blown, and I wanted nothing more than to know her name…to talk and whole hands with the pretty girl with the deep blue eyes. I could get lost in those eyes if she let me.
While not all moments of remembrance are pleasant, I try to focus on positive ones. But, I can still remember the moment I found out my brother died…as well as my father. Those moments affect as probably more profoundly than the positive ones. However, we try so hard to define our existence through our happiness, not by our sorrow.
But remembrances…when I have craptacular days, and all I really want are laughs, or affection, or a stiff drink…I think about those moments that left me in awe. Those moments that left me with a smile, wanting more. I wonder when the next one will come, and what or whom will be it’s carrier…one of those moments that I will remember, forever.

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